Oh, the States.....

I feel like I've been going about this blogging nonsense the wrong way, and I hope this blog will change that. Anyway...what have I been doing....

For the past couple of months, I've been at site, finishing up my diagnostic and getting prepared to actually start DOING something. I've putzed around in site for far too long, it's high time to start making a name for myself. Well, a name other than Gringa, or The One That Runs A Lot. I've been doing little things, like summer school, hanging out with the kids a few afternoons a week, I dug a micro relleno (which the director of the school refuses to use) and I've been talking to a lot of pobladores about what they want to see change in their town. But, why haven't I done anything? I'm not really sure. Part of it is laziness, I think, because it takes a lot of energy to organize things. Part of it, I think, is also a little bit of fear. I don't want to start with something that sucks, because then they won't think that I can do anything good at all. I've been doing a lot of thinking about the type of volunteer that I want to be, too. I talked to a lot of the other volunteers at an In Service Training that we recently had in my lovely department of Lambayeque, and a lot of them are out teaching. I don't think I want to do the teaching, at least not to the kids. I want to be involved in it, but I don't want to be the main teacher. That kind of cuts down on the things that i can do, but it is way more sustainable. I can teach the teachers, I think, who, in turn, can teach for a long long time after I leave. I suppose what I really need to do is get out of my house more. The heat tends to detract me from wanting to leave the hammock in my front yard, but now that it's getting cooler, I think I should be out and about more. I'm a role model in town, and I should act like it.

That, however, will have to wait until I actually get back to site. As my title suggests, I am in the United States of America, living it up with long sleeves, non scratchy sheets, CARPET, toilets and a varied diet. PIZZA. All the English I can speak. ZERO GRUPO CINCO! I love it here. I have thought about not going bavk, but I have no idea what else I would do. I came back on emergency leave, because Greg relapsed about a week into April. I waited until what should have been the end of his chemo, but as I was boarding the plane in Lima, he was puking his guts out and went back into the hospital. I've been home for 2 weeks now (and have 2 more weeks to go) and he's still there. However, the doctors, to their very own surprise, got him into remission and now the plans have started to change. they didn't expect that that was possible, but Greg has proven them wrong countless times in the plast 5.5 years, that no one is surprised. The docs are scrmabling to put a plan together to keep him on the road to recovery. Who knows how long it will last, but we are carefully keeping our fingers crossed. It made for a nice return home, though, I must say.

This experience, the whole last 5.5 years, have been a huge lesson and test of faith, positivity and optimism. And laughing. And a whole lot of other things. But honestly, it is so incredible what can happen when there are tons of people thinking the same happy thoughts. Peter Pan had it right. Well, I guess it was Tinker Bell who taught him that lesson. In any case, when someone like Greg has hundreds of motivated people pulling for him, anything can happen. It is so obvious, too. Mom has been saying that she has sat in the hospital, watching Greg suffer in pain and whatever ailment is on the docket for the day, written an email to his supports telling them about what's going on, and in a matter of hours, he's feeling at least a little better. It's something we can see. So keep that in mind, Readers, whoever you are: positive thinking is one of the most powerful forces that we have, and we have complete control over it. Complete control. We can choose to be negative or we can choose to be positive. And I know that sometimes it takes way more energy to positive than negative, but as soon as your mind can make that switch, the just seems to get brighter. It just feels so much better. It's something that I need to keep in mind in site, and in life in general.

This trip home hasn't been a picture of wonderfulness, though. As the doctors were diagnosing Greg's relapse, his best friend went missing, in some very dangerous water in Hawaii; his body was found a few days later. The memorial service happened while I was at home, which I was glad about. It was really good to see some people who I hadn't seen for several years, and to see everyone celebrating Ryan's life with smiles and laughs. This guy was the picture of positivity, really. Everyone was his friend, he had a joke for anything, and hearing his laugh would make everyone else around him laugh, too. He was pretty darned inspirational, and a super motivating force for Greg. It was sad to see him go, though he never REALLY left us. Everyone agrees that his energy is still here and acting on us.

I hope that this trip home can re-energize me for the next year and a half of projects. I've been thinking a lot about what to do after PC, as I always need a goal to work toward. It's helped me a lot to look at the grad schools that the PC Fellows program supports, and for the next year and half I will be thinking of those opportunities as I am struggling to get people to come to meetings, reminding people that it is unhealthy to burn garbage, and all the other frustrations that come with trying to incite behavior change. I just hope that it's all worthwhile change, but that's a problem for another blog. I hope everyone is well, and if you made it all the way to the end of the blog, well, thanks a lot for sticking with it!